No looking back
by Morrison.Melina.619
Summary: Things are not always the way they seem. Not all futures are set in stone. The past is not always like walking on sunshine. Can Melina forget her past and concentrate on her future?
1. Chapter 1

"Mommy, he was so cool. We worked in our itsy bitsy books mommy! And then we added with cookies! is way better then Ms. Wilson" Daniel gushed.

I looked behind me in the rear view mirror, gazing into my son's big brown eyes, which light in excitment while talking about his day at school. This was a totally different side of him then a week ago; he was so sad that Ms. Wilson left. I sat beside his bedside that night, wipping away his tears. I swear my son had a little crush on her. So to hear him talk about Mr. Hennigan like there was no tomorrow, was quite a postive change.

His arrival to our small town caused quite a stir. Apparently, he was very new to teaching and appeared to be in his late twenties, perhaps early thirties, and was also, apparently... quite the catch. But that was school yard gossip between the other moms and nannies. Some of the nannies tried talking to me about him, thinking that I was like them... like one of them. When someone whispered that I was, in fact, Danny's mother, they began to avoid me. That was nothing new.

"Mommy, he is the best! He even played with us at recess. Ms. Wilson never did that!"

"He sounds great hunny," I told my over-excited child as we pulled up at our apartment complex.

Daniel clicked the seatbelt open and carefully removed the shoulder strap, waiting for me to open the door for him. He took my hand and grabbed his lunchbox, leaping down energetically from the vehicle. He took my hand, and we walked into our small, two-bedroom apartment together.

I was sixteen-years-old when I found out that I was pregnant with Daniel. It was a total accident, totally unplanned, and Daniel's daddy is no longer in the picture. It was a one-time thing, and when I told him that I was having his child, he laughed it off, telling me that it could have belonged to anyone.

I made mistakes in high school. First off, I tried to be the way I thought people would like me. It turned out that I was wrong, and I had gone totally the wrong way about it. I dated casually... a couple of boys, and after a while, sex became fun. It happened a lot. News at my high school would travel fast, and it wasn't long before I was deemed a cheap whore - an easy lay. Girls hated me, boys mocked me, yet they still wanted a piece of me.

John Cena was the first. We dated for a couple of weeks. He wasn't a virgin, not by a long shot. It didn't take many attempts for him to get into my pants. After that, there was Alberto, and then it got out of control. The name calling started shortly after. The rumors were out of controll; kids saying I had slept with over 100 boys. It might have seemed that way, but it wasn't true. I am ashamed though to ammit it was most of the popular boys at our school, and there were alot of them. This kept on for about a year, untill I met David.

David– I had thought he was different. He seemed sweet at first, and even before we slept together, he took me out, and we had a burger and a coke. He even picked me up. It was like we were dating.

* * *

"Mel_, you are so sexy. Thank you for coming back with me tonight." Dave's brown eyes looked into mine, and he reached down and rested his hand on my thigh._

"_I had a great time, thank you," I told him, smiling. He was so different from the other boys. He leaned closer towards me and kissed me. For a moment or two, it was relatively chaste, but soon enough, he opened his mouth against mine and forced his tongue into my mouth. He leaned closer and grabbed my head. I happily made my way onto his lap and kissed him back, his hands already getting busy under my shirt. He grabbed at my breast, pulling roughly at my nipples. The line between pleasure and pain was a thin one._

"_That's so fucking hot that you're not wearing a bra," he growled as he pulled my shirt up. His eyes fell to my chest as he stared at my tits. I felt him twitch underneath me, and I snaked my hand in between us and under the waistband of his shorts. He was certainly smaller than John, Alberto, and a few of the faceless boys in my past, but he had not needed my touch to be incredibly hard. I grinned as I wrapped my hand around his length and pumped him experimentally, twisting his shaft like others had enjoyed._

"_Fuuuuckkkk," he groaned, his hands and mouth on my tits, sucking, pulling and biting. I pumped him harder and gave his balls a small squeeze, which caused him to throw his head back and roll his eyes. "Shit... Mel, just fucking suck it, you dirty girl."_

_I complied. I'd been told I was pretty good at giving head, and I was flattered that Dave wanted me in that way. We moved to the bedroom, and he released himself from his shorts. I positioned myself at the end of the bed, in between his legs._

_He groaned and grabbed at my hair as I quickly took his dick into my mouth and started to suck him off. I took him into the back of my throat and hollowed my cheeks out, increasing the pressure and sucking harder. Dave's hands pulled hard in my hair, pulling and tugging, and guiding my movements as he thrust harder into my mouth. I could feel him touching the back of my throat as I swallowed him down, taking all of him in._

"_Fuck, Mel, you are such a bad girl. Take your panties off and get on your hands and knees. I'm going to fuck you now."_

_I released his cock, giving the head a brief kiss and running my teeth gently across the purple, climbing onto the seat. I pulled my dress up around my waist and wriggled out of my little black thong; I then got on my hands and knees before him, my ass practically in his face._

_I felt his hot, sticky hands caress the curve of my butt for a moment, and then his fingers came into contact with my heat. He didn't delay, and I cried out in pain when he shoved three fingers inside of me, and his thumb pressed hard against my clit. He pumped three times and pulled out, wiping my juices onto the material of my skirt. "God, Melly, you are so wet for me. That's just for me, right?"_

_I nodded and rocked back towards him, brushing my ass up against his erection. "Yeah, it's only for you. You make me this wet. Only you, Dave."_

"_Just what I want to hear," he said as I felt him position himself at my entrance from behind._

"_Condom... in my jacket... pocket..." I breathed as I turned my head to look at him over my shoulder._

_He shook his head. "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm allergic to latex; I thought I told you that already... don't worry, though, I'm clean, and I'll make sure I pull out. You trust me, don't you?"_

_Of course I trusted him. Out of all the boys, he was the one that had treated me like how I thought that a boy should treat his girlfriend. Dinner, touching, making out. "Oh, course... sorry. Don't worry about it," I told him._

_He grinned at me and grabbed the base of his dick, sliding it up and down my slit. After he coated himself with my wetness, he pushed into me. His thrust wasn't exactly gentle, but it wasn't bad. The position was new to me, and it was definitely more intense that way. I could feel the pressure start to build up right away, and my stomach hurt from the spot inside me that he was hitting._

_I arched my back and moved with him, meeting his hard thrusts with my own. His hands were at my waist, holding on tightly, and his nails dug into my skin. I knew I'd have bruises the next day – but they'd be a pleasant reminder of the fun night we'd had._

_He started to slam into me harder, and he grunted with every thrust, letting me know that he was close to his release. I met his movements with abandon and clenched my walls around him. I grabbed onto the back of the seat and straightened up, so that I was on my knees, my back pressing into his chest as he took me from behind. I slipped a hand between us and grabbed him where we were joined, massaging his balls._

_Dave's hands moved around my body, and one hand found my tits and the other my clit as he started to touch me. I felt myself spiralling towards one of the most impressive climaxes of my life. The pressure was amazing, and my whole body was throbbing in anticipation._

"_I'm gonna cum," Dave cried out as he pinched my clit hard between his thumb and forefinger, which caused me to fall forward, back onto my hands and knees. I came hard, contracting around his dick. I felt him still, and he gripped me harder, pulling me towards him as he came inside of me._

"_Shit... David!" I cried out, still coming down from my own climax but fully aware that he'd just came... and not pulled out like he'd promised._

"_Oh, God, I'm sorry... I was just... it's just that you felt so fucking great, Melina. I was caught up in the moment. I've never come so fucking hard in my life..."_

_I pulled my skirt over my legs and grimaced at the feeling of both his and my combined juices dripping out of me. I'd only ever had sex with condoms before, and although sex without was certainly much better, the mess wasn't so fun._

"_It will be okay, it's the first time, so it will be fine," Dave cooed. I relaxed a little, guessing he was right. "And by the looks of it, most of it came out anyway. Next time, I promise I'll pull out."_

"_You want a next time?" I asked him._

"_Fuck, yeah. Look, I really like you, Melina."_

* * *

The next day at school, he ignored me. He wouldn't even look in my direction. I tried texting him, and calling him. Nothing. I pushed a note into his locker. No response.

A week later, he told me to leave him alone. He'd used me. He had used his charm, led me on, and used me. His friend had mocked me and told him I was an easy lay, and the bastard had used me just for sex.

I had really liked him. I had honestly thought that he was different from the others. He seemed kind.

That was when I decided that I would never look back. I would only look forwards. I would go back to the way I was before. Quiet, little, Melina Perez. Little Melina Perez, who sat in her classes and worked hard. The one who was always first to turn in her homework. I would get my grades back up to standard. I would forget the slut. She wasn't me. She was a mistake.

All those boys were mistakes.

A week later, my period didn't turn up.

A week after that, when it was still late, I stole a pregnancy test from the Thriftway.

The next day, I peed on the damn stick and got two pink lines.

I had been fucked over, and I was pregnant.

I called him, and he picked up. I told him; he denied it was his, telling me that it could have been anybody's. That I was a good for nothing whore who slept around. I guess that was true, but he was the only boy who I'd ever had unprotected sex with. The baby was his. I had no doubt about that.

I told my dad, and he told my mom. The shit hit the fan, but they both supported me fully, respecting my decision to keep the baby.

I never went back to school. I got a full time job until I was too uncomfortable to work any longer.

Two weeks before my seventeenth birthday, Daniel Christopher Perez was born two days after his due date. He was seven pounds and three ounces, and he was the most beautiful baby in the world, and I am not just saying that because he is my son. He was, and still is, such a handsome boy.

I tried calling Dave, and then his parents, but all he got was a load of abuse.

When Daniel turned a year old, I decided to go back to work. I started working full-time at Wal-Mart, and I got a good deal with a local day care for Danny. I enjoyed going back to work, and I was able to give my parents some money. They didn't want to take it, so I always made sure that I brought the food for the house and cooked all the meals. When I turned nineteen, Daniel and I moved out and got a place of our own.

I do not regret what happened. I do not regret having Daniel. He's my love and my light. He is my pride and joy, the thing that keeps me going everyday. But being a mother to a kid in elementary school could be tough. I was twenty-three and a half years old and away from a home with a shitty job. I did not have anything. I didn't even have my high school diploma.

The past scared me, yet the future frightened me even more.

"Mommy, can you please play wrestlers with me?"

"After dinner I can buddy," I smiled. How can I deny my angel.

I walked into the small kitchen to prepare our dinner as my son played with his wreslters, mocking the way they would talk.

It was nice that Daniel seemed to be enjoying the attention from his new, male teacher. But I had trust issues with men, understandably. I'd not so much as even been on a date with anyone since... Dave. I hoped this teacher was as genuine as Daniel was making out.

Parent-Teacher night was next week. I guess we would see.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mommy, can I come with you?"

I laughed and shook my head. Of course, it was a delight that Daniel loved school so much that he wanted to go back after hours, but it wasn't common practice for a kid to attend a parent-teacher night.

"Sorry little dude, no can do. It's going to run pretty late, and I don't think Mr. Hennigan is going to want to talk all about you when you're sitting right by me. Right?" I asked him.

"Mommy, Mr. Hennigan likes me though," he beamed. "So it wouldn't bother him. Please mommy! Pleeeeeaaaaassssseeeeee."

"Fine," I smiled, as my son's face light with glory. Like I said many times before, the no word is one word I can hardly say to him.

* * *

The wait outside Daniel's classroom seemed to last forever, and it didn't help matters when you got an antsy seven year old tagging along. My son soon became distracted when one of his friends ran over to him. I smiled to myself as they sat on the floor, playing with the boy's tanka trucks. I am so glad that my son has a great childhood; something others doubted he could have with a younger mother.

"No, well, I don't agree with it. He looks far too young to be a teacher. Honestly, this is a good school, so how did we wind up with someone who is barely a kid teaching our kids?"

"Oh, I dunno, Liz; he's easy on the eyes, you got to give him that."

"Oh, my God, you're kidding, right? He's hot. I'm sure he has a few things to learn, as well. I could teach the teacher a lesson or two."

"Oh, I bet you could... I bet he's hung like a fucking horse... and those glasses... and that hair. Oh, my God; that's sex hair if I ever did see it."

The other mothers giggled loudly – okay, it was more of a cackle, if we were being honest. I rolled my eyes and slung my bag back across my shoulder. Honestly... If this guy was as young as they thought he was, they had no right to be talking about him like that. I tried to figure out in my head how old Mr. Masen could be. If he was super smart, he could have graduated high school early. So, if this was his first job – which I'd heard it was – then he wouldn't be any older than twenty-four.

I looked at the women in front of me – all in their early thirties, wearing their suits, heels, and carrying their designer bags – and then down at myself. Skinny jeans, my favourite tank top and my ancient, and much loved, Converse. I lived in a totally different world than them. They knew it, as did I.

Snooty fucking bitches, judging me for being so young and having a seven year old. At first, when they thought that I was the nanny, it seemed like just a genuine question of interest. When I told them that no, I was Danny's mother, they started to look down their noses at me. I was blocked out of that circle right away. Who said that just because you grow up and become an adult that the playground bitchiness and belittling stops? It so does not. The school pick-up zone was a dangerous area. I always got the fuck out of there, as soon as possible.

"So, Melina, isn't it?" a voice asked. I looked up, and it was one of the other mothers. I didn't realize that I'd never told them my name. I'd said little more to them than informing them that I wasn't a nanny. I nodded politely and slipped my phone back into my jeans. "Where is Daddy tonight? Daniel is your boy, right?"

I cleared my throat and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "Yes, I'm Daniel' s mom... and no, his father isn't in the picture right now. It's just us." I smiled.

The woman raised an impeccably plucked eyebrow. "Oh, yes, I thought that was the case. Such a shame. That boy needs a good, male role model in his life."

"Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing sweetie... it's just good for kids to be around men, as well – older men. Gives them some sense of what they're supposed to be. It must be hard for you."

I chose to ignore the snide comment. While I was used to the looks, it had been some time since I'd gotten any. People in L.A had begun to get used to the fact that I had a seven year old. I didn't know if she was just clueless and had no people skills, or if she was trying to get a rise out of me.

She was looking at me, her head cocked to the side, waiting for my response.

"We are doing just fine, thank you. We make the best of what we have." I smiled sweetly and turned slightly in my chair, hoping to make it clear to her that the conversation was over.

"Eve, that wasn't very nice!" the other girl hissed to her friend.

"I just needed to clarify; she never speaks to us. I'd like to know what our children are associating with. She's a kid; how can she raise a child?"

I closed my eyes. Those fucking traitor tears were threatening to sting.

"Shhh, she can hear you," The brunette whispered. I saw her elbow her friend from the corner of my eye.

"I mean, what is she? She can't be much older than twenty..."

I couldn't take it. I stood up and glared at the pair of them. "Actually I'm twenty-two. Yes, I had my son when I was barely sixteen years old. I got pregnant; I had to leave school to take care of my child. When he was older, I went back to work, which I still do now, so that I can provide for the two of us. Is that a problem?"

The women looked at me in utter shock. I waited for them to say something or stay quiet, when a throat clearing behind me startled me. I spun around and came face to face – actually, it was more like face to crisp, white shirt – with a man. I took a step back and met brown eyes and long brown hair.

"Ladies, I'm sorry to cut in," the man said. "But I'm looking for Ms. Perez – Daniel's mother?"

My son rose to his feet, jumping in excitment. "Mr. Hennigan, my mommy is right here! Right mommy!"

I took a step to the side and raised my hand. "Yeah, that's me."

The man's eyes widened a little as he took me in. "Hi... Ms. Perez, I'm sorry, but we've not met before. I'm Mr. Hennigan, Daniel's substitute teacher. Would you like to come in?"

"Yes she would Mr. Hennigan," my boy smiled. "And mommy said I can join! Come on mommy, follow me!"

Mr. Hennigan opened the door of the classroom and held it open for us. Daniel was first to enter, bolting through the door. I stepped inside, and Daniel's teacher shut it quietly. Daniel's classroom was decorated in bright colors, and the walls were full of paintings and collages. The alphabet was hanging on strings from the ceiling, and several sentences were written carefully onto the chalkboard.

"Please, have a seat."

"Thank you Mr. Hennigan." I sat down in an adult sized chair in front of Mr. Hennigan's desk.

Mr. Hennigan sat around the other side and quickly pulled a bottle of water out of the pocket of the jacket that rested on the back of his chair. "Sorry," he apologized. "I've done nothing but talk all afternoon. I'm starting to sound a bit hoarse."

For the first time, I really studied him. Okay. I could totally see what all the fuss was about. There was no doubt about it. My son's teacher was definitely a very attractive man. I put him to be twenty-five, at the most. His brown eyes were clear behind some fashionable glasses, and he wore his shirt and tie with the top button undone and the knot loose. I could see a small amount of brown hair adorning his neck and upper chest. I moved down his body and to his hands. His fingers were long and a little rough looking. Yeah. He was hot.

I swallowed and met his eyes. He was looking right at me, and I knew that he had just caught me taking a good look at him. I blushed and pushed my hair out of my face.

"Mommy, your face is turning red, just like aunt Mickie's when uncle Mike talks to her," Daniel pointed out.

_That's my boy, pointing out the obvious infront of his hot teacher. _I can't help but blush again as John sits behind his desk, smirking away.

"Mommy, your face is red like an apple," Daniel gasped. I took a deep breath in before gazing back up at hs teacher, who was still smiling away.

"So... Daniel; how's he doing?" I asked, trying to get him to stop smiling at me.

Mr. Hennigan screwed the cap onto his water bottle and leaned back into his chair.

"He's a great kid. He's always interested and asks a lot of questions."

I grinned at him. "Yeah... sorry about that."

"No, it's really a good thing. An inquisitive child is often an intelligent one. He always raises his hand and the rate he's taking information in and recalling is astonishing. If there is something he doesn't quite understand, he isn't afraid to ask for help. He is doing very well. He is at the top end of the class, and I've found that sometimes, I've had to set him a little extra task because he's finished the activities before his classmates."

"Told ya Mr. Hennigan likes me," Daniel beemed. "I am an intel...intel...how ever you say that word is child."

"Wow... I had no idea. He always seems to do okay on his homework. I don't often have to help him out on anything other than the odd math problem, but I always struggled with that when I was at school, too," I admitted. I didn't tell him that I was dreading having to help my kid with the more complicated problems later on in life.

"There aren't any points that I need to go over where I have concern. He plays and interacts well with the other children. That's the good thing about seven-year olds – they don't judge like their parents do."

His eyes met mine once again. "Wait till they're older," I joke. "Girls in particular."

He smirked. "Why do you think I opted for first or second grade?"

I nodded in understanding.

"What I'm trying to say – and please, forgive me if you feel I'm prying as I don't mean it like that – but I can tell that you've been judged. I get that, too. Being young... and being in a position that deals closely with children... some people have funny ideas about what exactly is right and wrong. Especially in this town. I've not been in L.A long, but it seems to be a tight knitted community. Ignore the comments. Let them pass over your head, and please, don't let them get you down."

I took a few moments to take that in. I could see where he was coming from. He was clearly young... and a teacher. Not to mention male. I couldn't comprehend how hard it must be for male teachers – particularly with how easy it was now a days to point a finger and yell pedo at someone. He was the only male teacher at the school and had a difficult age range to deal with.

"Thank you... Mr. Hennigan."

"Please, call me John."

"Can I call you John Mr. Hennigan," Daniel piped in. I smiled down at my boy and ruffled his hair.

"Only grown ups can call him that bud," I smiled. "His students have to call him Mr. Hennigan."

"I want to be a grown up," Daniel puffed.

_Oh no you don't son, trust me!_

I leaned down and kissed him on the check, earning a groan from him.

"Mommy," he whinned. "Not infront of the teacher."

"John. I guess you do understand, to an extent. You're right; people don't get it. Even though I've lived here all my life, the comments still fly at me. I guess people heard rumors and built up opinions about me. I deal with it, though. I have to – for Sam."

John leaned forward onto his elbows. I could almost smell him. "Ms. Perez."

"Melina," I breathed.

"Melina... if you ever want to talk about it, or if Daniel comes home with any problems, please do not hesitate to come and see me. Perhaps I could help you sort it out?"

I nod and looked away for a moment as I tried to compose myself. "Thank you, John. That's very kind. Daniel really likes you. He does nothing but talk about you on our car rides home. He doesn't spend that much time with men, so it's great he's settled with you so well."

"It's true Mr. Hennigan! You are the best!" Daniel smiled

"I'm glad you think so. I aim to please; I love my job."

We sat in silence for a few moments, and John quickly went through all of the different things the class had covered since his start at the school two weeks before, along with what he was going to be working on with them over the next couple of months.

John reached out and took my hand. When he touched me, I almost jumped. His skin was hot, and it sent a jolt up my arm and through my body. It was like a static shock but without the uncomfortable feeling.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Melina," he murmured to me as his fingers slipped gently against my own.

"You, too, John. Thank you."

"Bye Mr. Hennigan!" Daniel called out.

"Bye Daniel, we shall see you tomorrow."

He smiled brightly at me, and I nodded before turning away and walking slowly along the windowed hallway. I snuck a glance at the bitches and smiled happily at them. I would bet anything that they wouldn't be on first name terms with Mr. Hennigan.

I didn't take a breath until I was back in the car. I closed my eyes, resting my read onto the steering wheel.

Shit. I was totally fucked.

I had a crush on my son's teacher. I didn't have crushes. I didn't trust men. I didn't want a relationship... but something about the way he was. No. No, no, and no again. He was just totally hot and had paid attention to me. Men were pigs. End of it.


End file.
